Posted in:Date Coaching Advice for Guys

What women want from men?Trying to truly understand what women want from men is moving ball. As a dating coach I have learned most women have no clue of what they want in men. In this post, I will explain what what women want from a few different female perspectives.

Now some women will most likely disagree that they have no clue of what they want in or from a man. The reason I say that is because many women say they want a good guy but for some reason they choose men who cause them drama, many tears and long nights arguing for a relationship the man clearly does not want. Now, I completely disagree with any type of behavior such as just being mean, causing drama and jeopardizing a persons life/ freedom with violence.

So, I know what you are asking… Well, Sam Lee, what do women want? First, you have to break down what type of young lady are you in search of. So, you have to ask yourself, what are you looking for in terms of relationship goals? By knowing what your relationship goals are, it is a lot easier to figure out what women want from men.

What are you looking for:


A serious relationship?

Enjoy the ride?

So, now that you have a pretty good idea of what you want, you have to pick up on what the woman wants. Now, this may take some time to get the actual answer from a woman. Although, if you date online, typically women are straight up with their relationship goals and wants in their profile. Or, if you’re able to get to the point with a woman quickly- you will find she will let you know what she wants with little effort from you.

I know you are asking yourself: “Well, what if I want to change her mind about what she wants?” As I tell all my clients all the time, never get into something trying to change what the other person’s’ relationship wants. It is a waste of time and yields a lot of frustration on both ends. You also can expect the relationship to not last that long.

Once you have a good gauge on what she wants and it aligns with your wants, now it is time to get to business. Believe it or not, knowing what a woman wants from a man makes it pretty easy to capture her attention. By having the same relationship goals, the minds sets are aligned in many ways. But what totally [email protected]#ks things up like most things in life, is there are many ways to get to that goal.

The basic characteristics women look for in a man- no matter what their relationship goals are.

  • His looks
  • His age
  • Weight
  • Height
  • Race
  • Economic status
  • How he treats others

By not fitting into one or more of those characteristics- you automatically lose! Women want what they want! And I know some guys are saying… “Well that’s not fair… She should look pass looks, or weight, economic status and even height…” Well, life is not fair guys! Get over it and keep reading so you can make an impact when you do meet the basics characteristics of what the woman you want is looking for!

The main things women want from men:

      1. Obviously being a “NICE” or “Good” guy is definitely not the way to go. I repeat… “BEING A NICE OR GOOD GUY IS NOT WHAT WOMEN WANT!” Unless you like being the sub in a sub/ DOM “BDSM” relationship… (That is another story for another day).
      2. Be Well Groomed- (To my metro guys, bypass this one!) Now, for the guys who hate to shave, hate to keep a haircut and who hate to brush their teeth daily this is for you. This is a no brainer for the most part. But staying pretty clean and fresh is the key to success with women. Who likes to drive around in a filthy car? This is you when dirty!
      3. Be Confident!- Nuff’ Said!
      4. Be Self Sufficient- Have a job or a hustle. Generate a steady cash flow and show her you are able to handle your personal business and buy a cup of coffee on that epic first date.
      5. Bring Value- Show her you are not just a taker. You are a giver and provider. I am not saying deal with the gold diggers and support her Gucci and Chanel handbag habit. But be able to buy a cup of coffee!
      6. Stand Out- Every woman wants the smart guy, professional, bad boy, the JOCK, the artist or Mr. I don’t give a F#(K. Everyone else pretty much blends into the crowd.)
      7. Be a Protector- Every women wants a man who can step up and protect her from the crazies as you go out. Plus, some women need protection from themselves! If she is too drunk to drive, then, make a decision to call her a cab or pick her up so she does not drive home drunk. If she wants to kick some chick’s a$$ because she has on the same dress as her at the party…. Ummm… First, calm her down then break up with her asap because she is crazy!
      8. Make a Choice- Women love when a man makes a choice and follows through! Once they see you that you make great choices for yourself and you two as a couple, she knows you can be trusted to make things happen!
      9. Be Over Your Ex’s- Most women do not want to hear about who you used bang and share special moments with. This is a simple one! Shut up about the ex DUDE!

Types of woman:

The lets talk about the “just have fun type of girl”!

Well, this type of young lady is not looking for a serious monogamous relationship. The reasons are countless in terms of why she just wants to have fun. Some include just getting out of a serious relationship, focusing on personal matters or hates men for the moment. She is the last one you want to try to change! She will run you crazy turning to prove to her she should be involved with you!

  • Be confident in what you want! If you said you don’t want more than just fun and no serious relationship then- BE that!
  • You have to be a great time! Meaning you can’t be lame and just want to drink the reddest wine and watch a Redbox every night with her.
  • Be prepared to have many nights downtown, wild nights of kicking it and lots of social interactions.
  • You have to be show her you are not the jealous type! By going out, you will be in the middle of a lot other men looking to capture her attention. Being able to handle yourself and emotions are the best way to keep the relationship fun.
  • Don’t get “EMO”. EMO means you are super emotional. Once you start saying things like “I like you”, “I want more” or “I want you to be mine,” expect her to distance herself from you!

A serious relationship

This type of young lady wants a committed relationship with one person. This is the type of relationship that leads to being married and starting a family. Serious Stuff!

  • Again, BE confident in what you want! If you desire a real relationship- then, show her that is what you want!
  • Show feelings. (Don’t be too EMO (Emotional)!) Express yourself, but never over do it!
    Introduce her to your friends and family over time. This shows her you want her to meet the people who care about your the most.
  • Never lie and tell the truth about your past. If you’re planning on staying involved with her, you have to give her the real deal. Lying about your past only makes for a real strain on the relationship if she knows you are willing to not tell the truth.
  • Let the past go! Show her you are focused on the future and explain to her how it includes her.
    Be willing to open up about your life! Show her you are not afraid to show her how she fits in your life.

Enjoy the ride

This is the MAN… If you can be the guy who enjoys the ride, you can really make wakes when it comes to dating. You can go with a relationship or have fun if it makes sense for you. Women can see a man like you a million miles away! Women typically feel more comfortable with you because she knows you can can be the fun guy but also gives her more.

  • Apply pressure when you feel if you want more in the relationship
  • Sit back and let her run the show at times. Show her you have confidence in her decisions.
  • Let her know just as fast as you enjoy the moments and the time spent… You are able to move on if things are not enjoyable.

If you follow this blog post, you will definitely give women what they want from a man! Like and share this post! You know it feels good!

I am a successful dating coach and entrepreneur located in Orlando, FL. I have helped thousands of people change their dating life through my blogs, classes and my one on one date coaching sessions. My date coaching sessions consist of face-to-face, Skype and phone consultations. If you have any questions about me or about my services please feel free to ask! Remember, I am your Mr. Date Coach.


  1. Shawna
    September 15, 2014

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    Hi Mr DateCoach my name is Shawna I’ve been in a relationship with a guy on and off for 4 years I’m 34 years old and he will be 46 this September 25th 2014 when I first met him I had just moved from Cleveland Ohio back to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania I didn’t have a place to stay. I didn’t want to stay with my family…so he opened up his doors to me and my daughter I told him I didn’t really have any income but can provide food with my stamps and I’ll keep the house clean…As the relationship went on I started catching him in a lot of lies…and he was bad with money and it seemed like his priorities were not right for 42 year old man (HE also lied about his age when I met him for about 6 months he said he was 38 but he didn’t have a birth certificate and I got him his birth certificate and when it came in the mail he wasn’t home but I was and I opened it up and I put the yr together) I.still stayed with him because he gave me a soft story about the lies…an he would cry don’t leave me please I’ll do better I’ll do this I’ll do that I’ll do this I’ll do that…Years went on and we’re still together and I’m still wondering why I’m still with him…the first part of the relationship was really the stability and his priorities but then he got a job after 3 years into the relationship now he has a job making $15 an hour and he spends his money so fast and he spends it on his kids who live in Kansas Kansas Missouri… he lives with me but still has his place and he’ll give me what he wants to give me for the bills because he has to pay bills at his place.. I’m on section 8 and when you’re not working on section 8 your rent can go to zero because you don’t have any income so he feels he can spend his money cuz there’s no rent…I feel I provide so much for this household that its not fair….I never had a father or a male figure in my life to teach me how a man is supposed to treat a woman or handle things in the house as a man…we been together from 2010 till current and we have not been on any trips he dosent buy me anything only when he’s trying to ask for forgiveness for something he did wrong no spark nothing…I don’t know why I’m still in this relationship I really think it’s because I don’t want to be alone its really sad I just was online reading and you popped up so I thought I would leave a message to you since you are an expert

  2. Josh
    July 9, 2015

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    I’ve been texting this girl for about a week now and every night we stay up till like 3 am flirting and talking. But up until 2 days ago, she rarely texts me anymore. What should I do? Did I over text her?

    • MrDateCoach
      January 2, 2018

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      In situations like this, I am not sure what you did. Can you give me more context into why you think you have been over texting?

  3. Grant
    March 26, 2016

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    Great shit

  4. Robertson
    November 3, 2017

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    Hello..I love this girl so much,but I can’t be with her,.I was very hush towards her because I couldn’t tell her that I lOVE HER…😢😢😢 I don’t know what to do or say?She said!!I had feelings for you but now,I don’t I just don’t feel like dating anymore.I asked why why she just!!Why is she doing that to me,Maybe loving too much is wrong?but What’s too much!I’m not lucky though,Guys out there are super happy with beautiful girls,whilst I’m left at home crying out loud.

    • MrDateCoach
      December 28, 2017

      Leave a Reply

      Sounds like you need to give her time. Never push too hard if someone has changed feelings towards you. Try to understand them by falling back and seeing where things go. The more pressure you put on her the more you push her away.

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