Posted in:Date Coaching Advice for Guys
So you are hanging out with a girl that you like, and she just told you about a guy who she just met… You have a problem! You are officially in the friend zone! How did you find yourself in this unfortunate position? I know how. You did not man up and resist at all cost, that’s how. This is not an article that I can be very cool calm and collected. I can’t be cool calm and collected because I see great guys get kicked into the friend zone by two types of girls all the time because guys allow it! Lets teach how to get out the friend zone every time.
Types of girls that will FRIEND ZONE you!
The Man Eater
The Nice Girl
Man Eater Friend Zone- Women can see a soft sucker coming a mile away. Now it does not always start like this. She might see a glimmer in your eye of prince charming. She could even bring you around her girlfriend’s. Then as you think things are going great, she starts to quote on quote “need” things. Things like lunch, coffee, movie tickets, clothes, jewelry or even ride from the bar after a night of drinks where she may even sleep with. Now most guys may think this is okay and some may even think this is what should be happening in the forefront of the relationship.
Let’s move a bit forward down this trail… After a couple of weeks she is around but not really. She may text you at times and you may have at this point told her that you wanted to see on a serious basis. But she actually remains a bit flighty and never really answers to your requests. Now also during this point, she may disappear for a couple of days then she reappears with a text saying “hey, want to go for drinks or coffee?” You quickly say “yeah sure”! You two talk about everything and you may even start to open up to her again about seeing her on a consistent basis. During the shots and drinks you are still a little puzzled because you never really get a clear answer from her saying what she wants. Soon as the drinks are done the tab arrives, she looks at you with a super sexy smile and batting eyes. Well you know this is pay up time. Then she says to you… “Well I have to go home to get ready to go out later.” (You may be like WTF!?)
Now you are noticing something might be wrong. She always wants you around for only a few reasons. Reasons where you get to pay the way or give her a ride. Now, this is where SOME guys get smart and leave her alone. For most guys, this is where for some reason they GO ALL IN! This vicious cycle of no relationship, no sex, no real intimacy and piles of money being spent goes on for weeks, months and in some cases years.
Now ask yourself are you being eaten? If you can relate to this story my friend you are being devoured!
Nice Girl Friend Zone. This girl is simple. She typically starts off liking you but quickly realizes you might not be Boyfriend material. She thinks you are super nice, loving and an understanding guy. (head tilts down). Now, this young lady starts off with all the right intentions. You two hang out, you might kiss and things may even get sexual quickly. But after a few interactions she sort of distances herself. She may still want to hang out but starts chatting about dealings with other guys. When you go to make a move she plays you to the left by laughing you off and saying, friends don’t do that silly LOL… Then she may even invite you to parties where guys she is actually interested in may be there.
Now, this girl is flaky like the man-eater but loves your company and seeks you for your advice without the relationship perks. All love and no play!
The nice girl will drive you slap crazy because you cannot understand her motives and get her to commit to your wants.
Related: 10 Things Women Want To Hear
How to Get Out the Friend Zone
Let’s take a look at what is actually going on:
These women love attention and love guys to make special accommodations for them! Now honestly, they both are smart girls. The man-eater has a guy who is bankrolling the perks of her life where she has to do little to no reciprocation. And the Nice girl is just looking keep you around for a good guys opinion while a guy like me enjoys the non-conversational meaningless sex. (Sigh…)
How you change the game!
Okay, so you have to change the game pretty quickly if she starts to behave like described in our man-eater or nice girl scenario. You need to make a move especially if you are not getting any type of intimacy from her. Also, a girl like this has the propensity to not respond when she gets resistance from a guy because she most likely has you on a rotation with a few other guys. But if you decide to stick it out and turn the tables around, get ready to get to work on how to exit the friend zone!
Get Out the Friend Zone To Do List
1. Make sure you get a clear understanding of your relationship with her! Now sometimes my guys or clients often get themselves in trouble because they totally read wrong into the relationship. If she flat out tells you she does not want to be involved with you this is not a friend zone issue. This is a, she does not like you period problem. If she is friend zoning you, she most likely may never directly say she is not into you.
3. Control how you act and react to her actions. It is easy to flip out and show her that she is getting to your feelings. Remaining cool, calm and collected is the way a woman wants you to be. If she asks you to take her out and you feel like you are getting into the YOU PAY TRAP, say “It’s on you tonight right?” If she says no, say “, No problem, I will hit you up when I get a chance. Hope you have a good night.” Then get off the phone or stop texting. DONE! (Never say this: “I am tired of paying you don’t even like me. Why do you treat me like this?” SO NOT KOOOL (In Seth Rogan’s voice)
4. Now the texting and calling game… This is fun! I won’t go into the full texting game, but I will show you how to text a girl that has put you in the friend zone.
- Be sporadic with the frequency in which you initiate and respond to the girl
- Ignore some of her text messages and phone calls, respond the next day
- Be short and to the point, no excessive LOL and HAHA’s
- BE cool and relaxed if she does not respond to you immediately after you text her (Don’t: You there? Babe? I miss you… )
6. Never tell her you like her when you are trying to maneuver out of the friend zone.
7. If she does something you do not like because you feel she is friend zoning you, punish that behavior. But be cool! And don’t buy into the behavior. She will realize you are not the friend zone type and you might be the bad boy she really craves.
8. Be the Alpha MALE! (Just Google it)
Once she sees the resistant in you to head down the path of the friend zone she will either hop off the train or dig deeper into you because you seem not to care like most guys… Girls love a man they have to chase! Especially when you keep them guessing. Get Out the friend zone with being the man you know you can be!
I am a successful dating coach and entrepreneur located in Orlando, FL. I have helped thousands of people change their dating life through my blogs, classes and my one on one date coaching sessions. My date coaching sessions consist of face-to-face, Skype and phone consultations. If you have any questions about me or about my services please feel free to ask! Remember, I am your Mr. Date Coach.