Posted in:Date Coaching Advice for Guys
Are you making the common mistakes most men make when talking to a girl for the first time? Approaching women for most guys is already difficult. Nerves, the sh!ts and the “NO” girls can make talking to a woman for the first time a truly gut wrenching experience! Most women are cool and are pretty open to being talk to by guys; besides the fact that they do everything to avoid us, whether it be with pink ear buds, big dark sunglasses and the over stressed no eye contact. So being that you have challenges talking to women already, I created a list of 12 Things to never say to a woman on a set or approach to make getting her phone number or follow up proposition easy!
12 Things to never say to a woman on a set or approach
1. Never give up on a set- This may sound like you are being overly persistent but for the most part, most guys give up on a woman in the first moment they feel any kind of resistance. If a chick likes you then you can pretty much do everything to totally F-it up and she will still give you her phone number and more! On the other hand, if you have a young lady on the edge of saying she is into you, “Maybe” or “Not interested”, you want to increase your chances on that set! So you have stick it out until you know for a fact she is a NO girl. For you newbies starting to approach women you have no idea what NO really is… Most of you guys don’t even know what yes really is, but that is another blog…
So you have to set a fluid standard, getting the 2-3 No’s and bolt out rule. You have to get 2-3 No’s that come from a follow up proposition. Meaning if she says “No I am not giving up my number”, feel it out and discover why not. If you discover the reason why she said no and you still cannot connect to get a follow up proposition, BOLT!
Related: 10 Things Women Want To Hear
2. Never beg– I have seen GROWN ASS men beg a woman for her phone number! BEEEEG!? There is nothing scarier to a girl than a man that begs… Begging shows true desperation. It also shows you have no real ability to overcome stressful situations effectively. And once a woman sees you can’t handle the fire on the set… You can’t handle her when it gets hot in her kitchen.
3. Never Stalk– Okay… So this is illegal in most states and in most countries. Do not stalk her. Make a clear path to her and let her know your intentions. Stalking leads to MASE and heavy jail time in most cases!
4. Never drop your guard- I have seen men totally forget they are on a set and they never see very obvious things coming such as: She has to go from the scene; her girls definitely do not approve of you or she is about to completely embarrass you. Keep your head on the swivel. You are the person who has to control the situation. There are literally thousands of things that can throw you off your game when talking to women. Make sure you look out for them so you can prevent them or find a way to go with the flow.
5. Never allow others to shake your confidence- Most guys and women go out in groups. Therefore you have to take the pressure of the set, the guys you are with, the people around her and her friends… Not to mention anyone else that is looking to totally blow your chances of talking to her because they want her. When you have so many moving parts you have to keep control of your own confidence, killing thoughts and actions. You have to say to yourself, “Whatever happens I am going to approach her and follow through to the best of my ability”. Once you do this over time it gets easier to ignore the people who are too afraid to talk to her or jealous because they are not her. KEEP YOUR HEAD BOYS!
6. Never say “Can I call you, Can I text You or Can I see you later?”- Never ask questions when it comes to the follow up proposition. Use the assumptive close! (I am going to call you; I am going to text you; I am going to kiss you; etc.) A woman during a set or on an approach is most times at your control. She is just going with the flow you provide. So if you lead her, she will follow. But if you ask the follow up proposition question it always opens you up to receiving a “NO” versus the okay, sure.
7. Never be a Creep! – If you like blondes, feet, toes, hands or have some type of fetish, control your “alone time tendencies” of obsessing and gocking. Women love to be admired not drooled and creeped out on! So control your emotions until the time is right.
8. Never let her give you the run around- Now guys, I hate to break it to you… But most women know what is going on during a set or an approach. You have to be aware of this. Because you can use it to your advantage or let it work against you. (Now this is a crude example but fits the scenario. Ladies I am not name calling or degrading you! On we go!) Now when a sheep herder is putting together the herd of sheep (I hear the emails coming already) he has many sheep running away, some not listening, some eating grass, some entertaining others, and some don’t even hear or see him at first. So he uses his Bearded Collie (Herding Dog) to get them in line and keep the ones he personally cannot reach or directly control. He does not run them down he stands strong and allows his skilled arm (Herding dog) to keep the herd focused and under control. Most women have so many things going on before and during a set (On the cell phone, eating, studying, walking to an appointment, focused on people more important to you and many other examples can follow). Never chase her. Use the environment, a gesture, or some form of redirecting engagement to keep her focused. But if you can use nothing and get the NO, move on. Never chase, give her a reason to stay and enjoy!
Related: How to Control Your Approach Anxiety
9. Never allow a hater to cock block- Now what is a cock blocker you ask… A cock blocker is a person for whatever reason sees what you are trying to do with her and completely tries to ruin your chances of scoring the number, the date or the follow up proposition. These people can be her friends, some random drunk guy, her co-worker or your own BOYS! If you see they are on the verge of or are currently cock blocking, you can be direct and tell them to knock it off (Man up!!!), redirect her attention to what you have to say with some type of reinforcement or get her out of the situation and mention something to the effect of… “Now that I have your undivided attention, you were trying to get with me”. (Jokes)
10. Never over think the opener- Most men completely fumble the open because they are worried about what to say next. The first line should be an environmental cue reference statement. (Something about her, the place you are at or how you can help her.) Hi works, but I have 100 people say “hi” to me daily. If she is attractive, she gets a lot more attention than you. Just find something that you both can quickly relate to and move on to the mission!
11. Never be afraid to ask for a phone number- Never be afraid to ask for her phone number or a follow up proposition. SHOOT THE J, SHOOT IT! (David Chappelle voice as Prince) Imagine if Kobe or MJ never took some of those unbelievable game winning 3 pointers, they would not be some of the greatest and highest scorers in the game. Good set, bad set or in-between… ask for the number, it only increases chances in the numbers game.
12. Never be afraid to touch- Touching is a touchy subject. Most of my clients would never speak to a girl, let alone touch them. High fiving, arm touching, hugs, kisses and hand holding are major ways to show her you can make her comfortable sexually. You make a direct physical connection that suggests you are not afraid to make her feel some kind of way. You can handle it.
Now fellas I have given you 12 things to never say a woman on a set or approach. So take your time to digest it. But of course if you have more questions leave a comment below, use the ask Mr. Date Coach Question box below or sign up for a free phone consultation!
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I am a successful dating coach and entrepreneur located in Orlando, FL. I have helped thousands of people change their dating life through my blogs, classes and my one on one date coaching sessions. My date coaching sessions consist of face-to-face, Skype and phone consultations. If you have any questions about me or about my services please feel free to ask! Remember, I am your Mr. Date Coach.